Empty shells?

My pastor once told us that humans are like empty olive shoots... They are built and created with an emptiness within them that long to be filled with something.. Some people fill their lives up with work.. some with looking after their families.. some with passions like taekwondo and ballet.. Most of us try to fill up that void with love....

That is in fact.. the wisest choice.. For love is what we need to be filled up with.. But not the love of man.. but the love of God.. When our emptiness and hollow centers are filled with God, we become less self obsessed... We become able to love others.. with the same love that God loved us with.. (Please note that God loved us enough to send his beloved son to die for us)... It is the love of God that completes us..

Sadly, so many of us try and endeavor to fill that emptiness with human love... We long to be loved greatly by another human... we pick potential boy/girlfriends based on their ability to make us feel loved... and because of that.. we become unpleasantly too attached to these people as we so desperately need their presence and attention to fill that emptiness within us..

This is precisely why kids long for attention from their parents.. their teachers.. their peers.. even kids have an emptiness within them.. that screams out for attention...

For me.. the sad truth is that despite having God in my life, I am not always 100% filled with God.. and sometimes (as much as 50% of the time), I forgot that that emptiness has to be filled by Jesus and God alone and not by man... This is when I become needy and attention seeking. This is when I become immensely lonely and depressed.. This is when I helplessly desperately start missing the only person who was ever so close to filling up that void in me...

I hope I never knew him.. I hope that God removes the memory of him from my head.. and completely fills that void within me so that I will never miss him so much ever again..

I need rest

A doctor once told me that if you raised for arm for a really long time.. it would hurt... does that mean that there is a tumour in your arm? No.. It just means that you have been overusing that arm and its suffering from a cramp...

So what is a solution to a cramping arm? Amputation? Surely not.. All it needs is rest...

I am going to fast from physical exercise for this entire week.. No Taekwondo and no ballet.... I need rest...

Perhaps its also an attempt to reassure myself that even in the absence of taekwondo and ballet, denise is still denise.. that denise is not defined by what she does... what she studies.. or by the condition of her body... it is defined only by what God says she is...

And I believe that God has given me this week to rest...

Someone once told me that music is not made up of only the notes.. It's made up of the pauses in between the notes.. without pauses.. there will be no music...How aptly said.. Perhaps this is a necessary pause for my love affairs with ballet and taekwondo...

Besides.. It is essential that one do not overstay her welcome or worse.. become too attached to leave at any moment... One must always be ready to let of anything.. hold on to the precious gems of your life like an egg.. do not grip too tightly... be ready to drop them at any moment.. so that God can fill your palms with new gems... with new purposes...

This might not be a bad thing.. It could just be the start of a new exciting chapter of my life..

Korean drama life

Why is my life like some korean drama? It doesn't have to be so complicated. With so many people involved and so many meddlers...

Whatever it is.. I hope there is a happy ending for this korean drama of a life... hope it will turn out to be something like da chang jing.. the taekwondo version.. I don't want it to become some sad sad ending where the female protagonist drowns admidst the intense politics...

Looks like everything is out of my control again.. It's ok.. God is still in control.. and the bible says that he has a good plan for me.. I believe in him.. So perhaps.. what's left for me to do is to just do nothing.. just continue to breathe.. and see what God dishes out for me...