Is there a way to erase your memory? I want it done. I remember in 'winter sonata' that korean soap opera.. they managed to remove the memory of the male protagonist. I want it done too.

Yes.. I may be capable and strong (in a way).. but I can't seem to find a way out of this. I can't seem to forget the painful memories. Maybe I am being too hard on myself. Afterall, its only been 3 months.

Something happened that day. Though I am still alive, something in me died that day.... What is it? Sorry... what was it? Its innocence. I lost it. I no longer believe in mankind.. in fact.. I forgotten completely how to trust people. A friend and a criminal no longer looks any different to me. They are the same... All equally capable or breaking my heart and neither would hesistate.

I used to operate on the innocent until proven guilty basis. Now I operate on guilty until proven innocent. I grew up. But it all happened to fast. Forced to grow up overnight.

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Sorry Jols... I am feeling pretty negative.. pardon me.