Washing Machine

I remember one of my teachers telling me that trees in tropical climates like singapore are less healthy compared to temperate trees.. because they do not go through the natural cycle of the seasons like the temperate trees do... Temperature trees.. though they seem to wither when winter approaches.. actually make use of the winter to rest.. surviving on the stored energy of summer and spring... so throughout winter.. they need not work.. all they have to do is shed their leaves and rest...

I remember liking to do strange things like cooking.. baking cookies from stratch.. experimenting with all sorts of weird things.. planning adventurous trips out... I just can't remember when was it that taekwondo and ballet totally invaded into personal time and drove me to such exhaustion that all my desire for adventure and experiment was extinguished...

But it's back... After being transformed into this workaholic neat freak who can only train, study, clean up the house and do the laundry.. I am actually starting to become free enough to embrace the idea of cooking a proper meal for myself... You know... most of the time.. I would just settle for campbell soup or instant noodles.. Too tired to go through the hassle.. but lately.. Today actually.. I cooked.. I risked getting the kitchen floor oily to cook myself a decent meal..

It's been one month since my work attachment ended.. True that I still train 6 nights a week and learn driving once a week.. But I have all the days to myself.. and there is just this limited amount of housework one can do.. after that.. the whole day is really for myself.. I find myself planning movie trips to downtown east(just a 10 min walk from my place).. buying groceries and cooking new things...

My trip to Australia has taught me that discovery travel and living (a SCV channel) is for real.. such places really do exist.. and my short 7 days in australia was sufficient to show me that for these 3 years I have been obsessing over a small little taekwondo club of about 50 active members when there is such a fantastic world out there waiting for me to explore... Going on a holiday really made my problems look so much smaller... and more importantly.. it gave me a clear idea of what I want...

I want adventure... I want to see the world... Yet.. I still treasure my time in taekwondo and ballet.. you can see the world.. but home is where the heart is.. no place is really like the club where you dance and train in.. it is where you go through challenges with the same group of people.. when you really build each other up and impact each other for the better.. you can't do that when you are travelling.. travelling only opens your eyes to the big world... you gain experience and wisdom which you can use to deal with situations when you are back home...

I thought that travelling alone was scary.. But it turned out really easy.. It is just like travelling on the MRT alone.. taking a plane alone is not difficult at all.. you don't feel any lonelier or out of control.. besides.. nobody knows you.. so you get to pretend that you are some independent frequent traveller... which i secretly believe that I am...

It is really like when I first moved into hostel.. I thought that doing my laundry would be a very difficult task.. You see.. I never operated a washing machine before.. and from all the complaining of my father... I have put together a rather scary image of the washing machine.. I imagined it to be somewhat like a car.. you need a basic theory.. advance theory and washing police test to become proficient in the use of it... But the truth is.. when I finally tried it.. I really liked it... It's so easy.. just throw the clothes in... add washing powder and press start... It was then that I realised.. that what my father was complaining about was not the difficulty of washing clothes.. but the mundaneness of it all... having to do it day after day... But seriously.. I would rather be independent and do my own laundry.. knowing that it is so easy...

The thing about the adult world.. it is not as complicated as it seems.. As a child.. you always imagine adults to be so much more intelligent and capable and in control of their emotions... Now that I am a 21 year old ADULT.. I realise that that is all just a facade... You might be an adult.. but all you have improved is your ability to pretend that you are firm and steady... most of the time.. I am still shivering inside...

True that you do get wiser and you do learn from your mistakes.. but somehow.. I can't help but feel as vulnerable as I did when I was a kid.. Well, as long as this vulnerability does not translate into neediness.. dependence and the need to destroy others to protect myself.. I guess it is alright...

Cheers to all the adults kids out there... I finally know your secret...