Love & respect

Training was cancelled today.. NTU having exams... No time for training... Sadz...I feel so lost.. Nowhere to go... Thus.. I decided to attend my 6-8 PM psychology lecture.. the one I have been missing all semester... and I found it quite interesting... more disturbing though...

Today's topic.. is on abnormal psychology.. yeah.. depression.. schizophrenia... stuff liddat.. they even played a pretty long video on how they managed to train a self-abusive mildly retarded... 6 foot 6 adult to perform like a normal individual..

It was such a scary video... Trust me.. the entire lecture was pin drop silent as they witnessed the horrific self abusive act this tall and skinny guy committed to himself.. It included hitting his nose against his knee... using his hands to hammer his head... His entire nose was red and bloody.. and all the while he was making strange screaming noises... (sounded freshly out of some horror flick)... It was terrifying..

Of course I had to pretend to be brave.. I am so good at it.. its second nature to me now... When everyone was scared stiff staring at the screen.. I opened my bottle of F&N oranged and took a sip.. Felt a sense of achievement after that... hehehehe.. (Guess this is what TKD sparring is about.. Hiding your fear and making the other party more afraid...)

The point is.. the psychologist involved in the therapy must have been very scared as well.. You could tell... how they were afraid that the tall guy (his name is Harry)... could hurt them.. he was very aggressive... though he was skinny... He was so tall he was literally towering over them.. quite freaky...

Yet.. Instead of just leaving him alone... they tried their best to put on a strong front and to tell him..I am not afraid of you.. I am here to help you... You know... and I don't think you are a freak.. so stop trying to scare me... You are a normal boy.. I know it... Let me prove to you how much you can do if you stop thinking you are a freak and acting like one..

Well.. they never said that... but what they did... all their gentleness and respect when handling the patient really touched me.. I mean seriously.. he was so abused and injured.. with all the bruises and bloodied nose.. and tall and skinny.. and screaming... it can be quite intimidating... But instead of being threatened and treating him like some psychopath (which he technically was)... They treated him like an equal.. like a person who deserved respect.. they treated him the way they would have treated themselves if they ever felt into this kind of mental state...

Commendable...

We should give a noble peace prize to all such psychologists... Seriously.. I salute them..

While some Singaporean teachers treat their students like criminals.. there are actually also people like psychologist who treats his psychopathic patients.. like his own son... It's amazing... Very touching too...

That's why the treatment worked for him.. Yes... of course the technical behaviorist conditioning had a big part to play too.. But I believe that it was his love that touched this terrifying Harry and finally transformed him..

And I know what Harry was thinking... He's so happy he doesn't have to misbehave in order to be respected anymore.. His self-abusive acts were at first triggered because he did not want to conform to certain orders like education and social interaction.. He abused himself to intimidate and scare people away... but it was this psychologist who really touched him by respecting what he wanted... He didn't force Harry to do things he didn't want to do.. Instead, he used positive reinforcement to gently coax him into it... and when he didn't perform ideally, he didn't hit the boy.. instead... he gave him 5 minutes time out... Even within one day.. the results were significant..

This clearly demonstrates that in life... no matter who you are dealing with.. remember to incorporate love and respect into the equation... God's love will be even better (since its the real unconditional love)... People will feel it... Trust me...

Some children misbehave to get attention... If you look at their misbehavior and try to correct it by abusing them.. (verbally or physically)... You will only make the problem worse.. Of course.. you cannot reinforce this behavior by immediately giving them the attention... Instead, tell them that you will play with them only if they promise not to scream and shout... and to respect you... if they respect you... you will respect them and play with them...

This way.. you get a win win situation... Don't hit your kid... Love them into health...