Review on old blog entry -blogs are bad

Wrote this blog entry many years ago on the October 18 2006, when I was just 19 years old. It is entitled blogs are bad... It's the birth entry of one of my blog sites..

while the subsequent blog entries seemed pretty self-obsessing and brimming with self-importance and neglect of the environment... I found this one to be quite interesting... Yes.. it is also, to some extent, brimming with self importance but the introduction of an additional voice.. the self-correcting holy spirit... seems to add a mature dimension to this blog entry...

On a higher level, what is most enticing as well as disturbing about this blog entry is the presence of two completely different characters capable of different levels of maturity within one single entity...

Is makes us ponder... is there really a holy spirit within all of us?

With all that said, looking at my old blog.. (I just unearthed it).. I must say that I am remarkbly embarassed by it... shy by the fact that I used to see the world revolve around myself... Could it be that maturity has finally hit me? Or maybe I have successfully convinced myself that I am nothing but a small pawn in God's big game...

Whatever it is... enjoy this blog entry.. It is intriguing and disturbing... like a macaroon.. or a mulit-layered cheese cake.. gets better as it progresses... The pride of the production of my youth...
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Blogs are bad

"Blogs are bad. They reveal too much of yourself to the world. They make you weak. "

"What is this obsession with weakness? Why must you be strong?"

"The world is filled with evil people. I must be strong to protect myself? No one will protect me."

"But you have friends. Don't they love you?"

"What is friendship? A mutual dependence? A quiet competition? How can I trust it? How do i know its real?"

"Why are you so afraid? Have you been hurt before?"

"In many ways."

"Your heart is filled with wounds then?"

"Not wounds. Scars. Yes, wounds. Some of them never really recovered. It's just a scab. when it is lifted, you will see the blood. It still hurts. People tend to enjoy flicking the scab. It will never recover."

"Your Heart is hungry."

"Yes it is. It hungers for true love. "

"You hunger for someone to love you?"

"Yes and no. I wish to be loved. But more than that, i wish to have someone to love. And not to love secretly but wildly and with all the passion of life."

"But so do all of them. They all hope to be loved. Why don't you show them love."

"No one has loved me greatly before. My faint image of love is all that i can give. How is it possible that one can give a love that she has not recieved before. I can only love you as much as the greatest love i have recieved."

"You sound sad. You pity youself."

"Yes, and self-pity is the greatest sin of all. It leads to thoughts of death. Of disrespecting the sanctity of life. I hate it but on days like today, when my heart is filled to its brim with sadness, it is only natural to indulge a little in it."

"I pity you. Let me share you a secret. When God made this world, he gave it a magical power to self-correct. That is to say, if you leave the problem attended for long enough, it self-corrects. Have faith in this magic of the land. Your wounded heart is but another object that would heal naturally over time."

"Hope. You speak of hope of renewal, but i see none. Shall I tip myself over a building, or point a gun at my head? Would that satisfy the world that wish to destroy me?"

"The world does not hope for your destruction. You are too little a part of their lifes to matter at all."

"Why do you shatter my hope of some importance in the lifes of others? At least when i am hated, it shows that i matter in the lifes of some."

"You think too highly of yourself. I cannot tolerate this pride."

"Who are you?"

"I am you, my dear. I am the other part of you who resides in you. I am the self-correcting mechanism of God of which i speak of. Wisdom, some has called me. The Christians call me the holy spirit. Do you now know who I am?"

"Are you with me all the time?"

"Yes, when you are awake. When you are sleeping. When you are upset. When you are complaining. When you cry. When you smile. When you pretend to be happy. I see all."

"Will you save me from my misery?"

"It depends if you want to listen to me or not."

"What if i do."

"Then i will show you the magic gift of self-correction. I will show you that God only intended for good things to happen. And that bad things are simply the facade of good things to come."

"I will listen to you. Tell me what to do now."

"Don't think so much. Leave it all to me."

"Ok"