You can still win

Had driving test yesterday. Failed. Went for NTU taekwondo training. Was very fun. Quite tiring though. But felt very happy and satisfied after training.

I am so prone to becoming depressed. Especially when I start taking the things around me TOO seriously. I forgot to live the moment. That's the problem with people with dreams and aspirations. They tend to cast their sights on too distant a target that they forgot how to live in the moment.

For example. Though I am not selected for the AUG, I can still train with the team and do what I would have done if I were selected. So I can either focus on training hard and enjoying the priviledge of training at NTU or I can keep focusing on the last 2 weeks when I will not be able to join the team in their trip to KL. I choose the first option. For all you know, if I die before december, then the tournament itself won't really matter so much would it? Might as well, just live for the moment and be as happy as I can be.

The thing about Korean and Japanese drama... You see a successful woman.. in the height of her career with a handsome fiancee. Everything in her life is moving on track. She is a perfectionist. She has every right to be... since everything is on track.. She doesn't tolerate any sort of imperfections. Nope. Not one. She is always in absolute control... Then one day.. one thing falls out of place... she works hard to try to curb that problem to revert her life back to absolute perfection. And then she discovers that she has cancer and only 3 months left to live... Suddenly, all the things she felt was so important didn't matter anymore.

Why am I telling you this inconsequential story? The thing is... too many of us are like that successful woman in the story... we are on the right track in life... moving on the fast pace... and we start imagining that we are going to live forever... We scheme and plot... plot and plan... to try to secure some form of eternal security and stability...

We forgot to take risks and live life on the edge... Only when we have a deadline set on our lifes.. like (3 months)... that we decide to just break free from all our reservations and do the things we always wanted to do... And to not waste any moment being upset. And it is also because of this misconception of eternal life on earth that we place too high a value on things that do not really matter... For example, you may cry for days for not recieving the job promotion you've been working for for two years... You think your boss, your company and even God has wronged you.... Then, when you imagine that you could have been down with cancer with only 6 months left to live.. all these things fade into oblivion.. you start seeing things in proper perspective... At least you still have your family and friends... At least you are still healthy and young... the job promotion doesn't seem so important anymore...

Therefore, I believe the take home message for the day is to be more process orientated.. You don't always have to be so result orientated... Enjoy the process in which things are being done.. And realise that the enjoyment derived from the process is not dependent on the outcome at all.. You can enjoy training alot and still lose... similarly you can skip training and still win... But at the end of the day... who gains more? Therefore, whenever possible.. choose to enjoy training AND win...

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The thing with many players these days.. they enter the arena thinking that they just want to gain experience.. They don't believe that they can win.... They don't believe that if they try hard enough.. and if they want it enough.. they can win... Therefore.. they are not even trying... You see them tailing by one point in the last 20 seconds.. and yet.. they refuse to kick... This is a very obvious sign that the mind of the player is not ready for the tournament yet.. The most basic thing is to believe that you can win.. and to give yourself a fair chance of winning by at least trying till the last moment...

Don't give up on yourself... Don't listen to what people say.. You must be determined... You may not be very good now.. but as long as you are willing to train.. you are willing to stand right back up after a KO and continue fighting.. you have a chance of winning... Don't give on yourself... You can still win.