Communication

Lately I find my thoughts organised strangely into words.. words that fit into a blog entry... Somehow.. this blog.. dbrave1 has become a very good friend of mine.. I find myself rushing home.. switching on my lap top and typing away... Then it dawned on me... what a friend actually really is... Very simple.. A friend is simply a good listener. Don't have to be a good talker..

A good example.. my dog Loki.. He never speaks back to me when I pour out my problems to him.. he just sits quietly beside me licking up my tears from time to time... Yet.. I feel so loved... In fact... my loneliness is lifted only when I am near him.. it is mind boggling isn't it.. how a dog can outdo all the other humans in my life.. mind boggling.. OF COURSE... I must give my other human friends their due credit.. they have been immensely patient and kind... The most important part of communication is listening.We must all learn how to listen.

Listening is not simply tolerating the rattling of your friend.. it is really to try to put yourself in the shoes of the person and try to understand what he is trying to communicate with you.. Communication is really not a game of ping pong or badminton.. You don't have to take turns and speak.. sometimes.. when you are seriously depressed... you really to have a listening ear... in such cases.. communication becomes a one way thing... sorta like a radio broadcast.. what you need is a very patient friend who seriously wants to hear you speak and is not just waiting for an opportunity to cut in and say something intelligent...

How do I put this simply? Ok... simply put.. communication is really an art.. You must learn how to say the things that can make someone feel better... Our lives are all so loaded with critisism and harsh remarks... therefore, when we speak to friends.. we actually simply long to have someone to make us feel better... And sometime.. just having someone listening to us and paying genuine attention can make us feel so much better about ourselves.. At least it shows that our friends respect and value us enough to give a damn about our lives....

Most people would think that communication is the process of sending across a message... This is absolutely right.. and 70% of communication is not in the form of speech.. but rather body language..

The thing is.. when I communicate with people, the message I am trying to send out is... I love you... I am saying this for your good because I care... I am listening to you because I want to know more about you... Seriously.. I really don't care if you agree with what I am saying.. and I don't want to enforce my opinion on you.. I just want to make you feel better...

Seriously.. I will not talk to someone unless I really really care.. If I think you are not worth it.. and you don't respect me enough for words to make any impact on you.. I just don't speak.. I mean.. I seriously do not want to waste my effort on just anybody.. All my friends are people I really admire, respect and love... If this is not the case... I won't even be making an effort in the first place... Therefore.. for such important people in my life.. I will not risk ruining my relationship just to push a point across... This is of course subjected to mood swings.. If I am feeling particularly irritated that day... I may choose the other option.. insist that I am right.. but most of that time.. that involves arguing and I am simply too lazy to argue with anyone.