Sibling...Ego

Sisters... what did God make sister's for? To teach us the meaning of hypocrisy? To teach us how to tolerate the intolerable? Nah... its to teach us how to love. While many of the times we get to choose our friends and lovers, our family.. yes... our family members are unfortunately not of our own making. Yes.. you can divorse your hubby or your wife but certainly, you cannot abandon your children, nor severe the ties with your parents or sisters. So.. when it comes to sister.. you either love them or live in agony hating them. Because simply put, rather ironically, society expects you to love your sister/brother. In fact, when you introduce your family members to your friends, out of courtesy, they will definitely be nice to them (unless of course your friends hate you). They imagine that by doing so, they will be showing you respect and loving your family = loving you.

Nah.. sorry man.. that's in fairy tale land where we all love one another. In reality however, we often find ourselves so uncontrollably hating our siblings. You see, it is inevitable. Siblings are after all people who are the most similar to us. They share the same gene pool. And invariably, they share the same way of talking, same habits, same food preferences, same hobbies. It's like seeing yourself in another shell. Yes... so you (narcissistic and self-0bsessed as we most are) expect our siblings to be AS OUTSTANDING and PERFECT as us. This overrated expectation of them cause as to pick on their every flaw and attempt to CORRECT these flaws by tonnes and tonnes of unnecessary critisism. And before you know it, you realise that you are pouring heavy and painful remarks on your sister/brother. Of course you are doing it for HER OWN GOOD. But please... no one wants to hear nasty remarks. Serious.. we all have egos.

I used to believe that it is absolutely important to discipline and educate the wrong. Teach them they are wrong and humble them. Well, while this belief may not be absolutely incorrect, it is unfortuately too demanding on the feeble human mind. You see... we live in a fallen world where man are not centered around God. Instead, they put themselves in the center of all their circumstances. AKA... their egos are the most important to them... Therefore, kill their ego, they die. Attack their ego, they kill you. It is so important therefore to help the person improve by working around his ego. You must reassure that even the most perfect of all people have their flaws (irony), and that this flaw doesn't make them any less lovable.. it is just that if they do change this aspect of themselves, they will become a wee bit better version of themselves. This is so much better than slamming them in their face and telling them that this problem makes them an absolute jerk. This is often untrue and it causes us to magnify his problem such that it engulfs him entirely (including his plus points). Yap.. more importantly, it kills his ego... if he believes what you are saying, he will become completely demoralised and feel that he is a failure. If he doesn't believe what you are saying, he will just think that you are a bitch and deserve to die. So, in all things, remember to respect the ego of the person..

Every one needs a healthy ego to stay alive. Serious.. so when you are thinking of scolding or humiliating someone, ask yourself, will you do that to yourself? Will this harm his ego so much that he can't stay alive? will this dressing down help him in anyway.. or does it serve only to help you release stress.. if it is so, it is so much better to find a trustworthy friend (who can tolerate your bitching) and unload it on her.